This topic contains 7 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by Chrissy 5 months, 3 weeks ago.
wow – I can totally relate to this. I was seeing a guy for ages and felt like he was breadcrumbing me and never knew where I stood. I felt paranoid when I messaged first and the responses were constant one worders! Was hopelss! I wasn’t happy so I confronted him and he told me he needed ‘space’- there was me thinking it was me! He was not emotionally available! He’s long gone and I feel so much better for it, hope this kind of helps.
Hey – you know if they are into you, its simple as; sadly nowadays there is too much choice in the ‘cookie jar’ so they feel the goalposts have changed; but ofc they haven’t. Its refreshing to hear a guy into a girl and treating her properly. So many men I have been with treat me so disrespecfully and I get cross with myself for allowing it. I am working on myself to be a stronger person but its sometimes not easy, I’m not a robot. I’m sure others have experienced similar situations?
Just be aware that she is probably thinking that she wants to remain cool and not appear to be too keen straight off the bat. I wouldnt read too much into the actual length of time it takes to respond, but pay more attention to how she acts when you are actually with her. If she seems disinterested or distracted then, then you could put the slow messages to a general apathy about the relationship, although if shes agreed to another date, theres still time to turn it around!!
I can totally relate to this too. There is definitely too much choice and internet dating has exasperated this problem. As I like to put it.. too many sweets in the candy jar! I think men in particular find it hard to focus on just one woman and are always looking for something better which is where this whole ‘bread crumbing’ thing stems from. The sad thing is, while they are busy looking for the next best thing, the real deal has slipped through their fingers by which point it’s too late and they’ve missed out! Even if they come crawling back 2 years later!!!
I have to be honest with you, I would appreciate some advice of my own to be honest. I am always a little inept when it comes to messaging guys, I literally have no game. I prefer to stick to boring and inane conversations like… ‘How was your day?’ ‘ The weather is so cold.’ Unsurprisingly this has got me nowhere. How do you make sure your messages encourage him to write back and initiate some form of banter?
Hey Alexandra –
Your life before messaging whoever it may be was totally fine – so why does one lose it when replying?
I would be light in your response and say what feels right – when you message bland – you’ll receive bland. Men are hunters and so they love a challenge. The more you tease them in a response, the more they are playful. I know its a scary thought – but you want a person who you click with on so many levels and the initial messaging over text is the first point of call. Can you give me an example of the kind of conversations you have?