I’m heartbroken & devastated – Help me…

Forums Popular Topics I’m heartbroken & devastated – Help me…

This topic contains 14 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by Avatar Sara P 1 month, 4 weeks ago.

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    Katherine
    Participant

    I am broken. The love of my life told me he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. I am at a total loss and not sure what to do. Can anyone give me some tips how I can heal or get them back?

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  • Zoe
    Zoe
    Participant

    Hey there – first and foremost you are most certainly not alone. The feeling when someone leaves you can feel so isolating and lonely, but there are so many of us in the same boat. I can totally relate to how you’re feeling and the truth is, no matter what anyone else thinks, all you want is to talk to your other half. For now, the best thing you can do is chat to us, wrap yourself up in a blanket and surround yourself with friends who will want to do anything to support you. Also you must allow yourself to grieve. Take the time to cry and scream into that pillow. When you feel calmer, write down a list of pros and cons of what you enjoyed in the relationship. Thinking of you at this painful time.

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    Kim

    Hey Katherine,

    I can totally relate – I was abandoned one evening by my ex husband. I was left feeling numb and totally worthless; It took a few days for me to actually digest the reality – I remember a small thing like him filling up the petrol was now left for me to do. That sounds weird but i depended on him so much. I broke down at the local petrol station; not the car but me! A lovely lady ended up consoling me.

    My point is do not feel alone or blame yourself. It is totally them. I think if you can try to focus on urself and you are entitled to the crap days. They will happen. You will want to cry your eyes out – there are some great groups on fb – such as the conflicts of life, who got me through a v dark time.

    Spend £100 on yourself- retail is therapy.

    Here if you need- Kim x

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    Parisia

    hi I’m so sorry you are so down I totally feel for you as I have been there myself

    trust me – time is a huge healer !!!!! You may feel terrible now but obviously this was not meant to be and eventually you will come to realise that

    having your family and friends around is a great distraction and don’t watch romantic movies or listen to love songs !!!

    in a couple of months u will hopefully look back and realise this period in your life was all for the best and had to happen as then you wouldn’t have met the real love of your life !

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    ms2018
    Participant

    My demented ex-husband left me after a few years of marriage and I honestly didn’t know he had it in him. I’ve been struggling ever since and while I try to move on, I hit roadblock after roadblock, often breaking down at work and running to the bathroom to weep in private. Will I ever get over this? I certainly hope so. When then? It has been nearly eight months and I don’t think I’m through the woods.

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    Bianca

    MS-

    I am so sorry to hear of your horrific ordeal. You poor thing. Its messed up to say this but, I feel a slight comfort knowing someone out there can relate to this absolute tsunami I am going through. I feels never ending – sometimes I  feel like there is no road to turn and ask why me? whats wrong with me?

    How have you managed over the past 8 months, honestly?

    B x

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    ms2018
    Participant

    I barely know. I’ve tried to stay as busy as I can manage and take comfort in the company of friends and family but it has been an absolute nightmare. I instituted a strict no contact rule that helps because in part it allows my ex to just fade away. But I still miss him like no one’s business. I can’t really win here but somehow I’m still going.

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    C. Jane

    Dont want to type and dash , when you’re left by the one person you thought you could rely on forever it honestly feels like a  bereavement . My husband left me with two small children every day I wanted the night to come so I could curl up and cry and every night I wanted the day to come as I couldn’t sleep . It felt like no one understood how I felt as surely no one had ever felt such pain – it was a real physical pain . You’re not alone and keep talking xx

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    sam

    I can totally relate – my SBEXH abandoned me over a year ago. Esp at this time of year I am really trying to stay strong but its so so hard. I get so jealous, upset, anxious, twitchy.

    I do not know what to do and no one understands.

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    Louise

    Hi

    I have found this site to be a lifesaver. I really didn’t think there was anyone else who felt like me. Every day it seems to get harder not easier like you are told. I can’t stop thinking about him and who he’s with and what him and his children are doing  (that I had grown to love as I didn’t have my own but desperately wanted children). Feels like I have a permanent punch in the stomach and it’s over a year now.

    Sending a hug to you  xx

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    Tracy

    Hi

    I am destroyed. My husband of 15 years told me last week he doesn’t love me the way he used to and was with someone else that night.

    He works 3000 miles away so he told me by FaceTime.

    I was over there for 5 weeks returning on the Monday with future plans and he told me this on the Saturday.

    I can’t see a way forward or future and don’t know how I will survive this.

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    Louise

    Hi don’t know if any of this helps but I have written in a journal as if writing to him but did not post. Having said that did write and post 3 others but no reply so forced myself to stop doing it. Found an incredible counsellor where everything just pours out every week for over a year. I’m still desperate to contact him but try so hard not to.

    I feel your pain.

    Try and be strong but give yourself time to cry, don’t look online (that spolit my Christmas) and take baby steps one day at a time. Xx

  • Avatar
    Laura

    Tracy – are you ok? I am here for you. I am a qualified break up and relationship coach and can support you. Please email me privately and I will support you in anyway I can Lx

  • Avatar
    Sara P
    1. The guy I pictured my future with, recently broke up with me. I am really struggling, as I feel like no one can make me feel the way he did. I understand what many ornaments you are going through.

     

  • Avatar
    Katherine
    Participant

    Wow- everyone is so supportive and honest here you’re really helping me in my most vulnerable time, thank you. I just really feel the need to contact him, what do I do, any suggestions out there?

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